This is my end-of-my-first-year-of-college blog.

by emilysaysgo

When I typed in that title, the permalink said “this-is-my-end…f-college-blog.” Yep. Good start.

Honestly, though, I’m not even sure what to say. My first thought was to do this in a “good things/bad things” format, but I don’t think the bad things would appreciate being called out. So we’ll avoid that. I also toyed around with the idea of a picture post, but a) it wouldn’t be that interesting, and b) I’ve barely taken any pictures all year, so they’d all be from Facebook and therefore redundant. Repetitive AND boring! You’d all be thrilled, I know.

I’m currently sitting in the room Brittany and I have been sharing for the last 259 days, surrounded by boxes and bags and piles of crap. We’ve added a significant amount to the free pile over the last few days, because for some reason we have a lot of stuff here that we don’t want. I just finished my last final today, and I feel pretty good about my grades. I’ve learned more than I ever expected I would or could.

As excited as I am for next year, this one ending is sad. I’ve had the best possible dorm section, and we’re having a rough time saying goodbye to our wonderful neighbs. My beloved RA is graduating (although she’ll be around next semester), and I’m going to miss her a ton. On top of that, since Brittany isn’t coming back next year, everyone has periodic sad moments whenever they think about it. I miss some of my classes already, and I just want to give this entire campus a hug.

I’ve spent pretty much the entire day outside with friends, because it’s unbelievably beautiful. The joke has been that these last couple days of the year are the only time the school looks like the brochures– everyone outside, laughing, looking like they’re having the most fun of their lives. It’s good times.

I’m going to try to sum up this year, and I’m probably going to fail, but here goes.

There were a lot of times when, academically or emotionally, I genuinely thought I wasn’t going to make it. God taught me that He knows that. He knows what I can’t do, and our weaknesses are His strengths. He knows what He’s doing. I could list off dozens of things I KNOW I couldn’t have done on my own, but here they are, accomplished, and I don’t know how it happened.

I got a lot better at knowing where my heart is…and where it isn’t. I started out this year planning to study English, because that’s what I’ve always done, and because I thought I could do it without being forced much outside of my comfort zone. And now I’m studying a dead language instead of a living one, with no reason other than that I inexplicably fell in love with it.

Oh, and I made some friends. Some really, really great friends. When I left home to come here, I was heartbroken at having to leave the people I loved back at home. And every time I go home, I’m amazed at how many people I love, because there are so many there and so many here. I knew keeping up friendships at a distance wouldn’t be easy, and it hasn’t been, but it’s been incredible nonetheless. People are great.

(This is my six-pack…which refers to the fact that there are six of us, not beer or abs– thank you to those who questioned last time I mentioned it.)

I can’t even explain how much I’ve loved this past year. There are things I don’t like about Multnomah, like the food and the student ministries program, or certain classes last semester, but as for the whole experience, I’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve loved it even when I hated it. And I can’t wait to see what happens next.